by Sara Jackson, CSW
Center for Safe & Healthy Families
Nobody wants to be told that their child has been diagnosed with cancer. It’s a time that is terrifying and stressful for both children and their parents. Families may wonder how their child will cope with the diagnosis and other stress related to the illness. Research has shown that most children who have cancer adjust well, and do not end up having serious psychological problems. The National Cancer Institute states that “in general, children treated for cancer have no differences from other children in self-esteem, hopefulness, depression, anxiety or loneliness”.
The first days of diagnosis can be particularly stressful for families. Being in the hospital and undergoing various diagnostic tests is scary and overwhelming. Here are some tips for dealing with this difficult time:
- Be supportive of your child (Studies show that children with supportive parents are less likely to have problems adjusting)
- Tell your child as much about the diagnosis as is appropriate for his/her maturity level (most children are aware that they have a serious illness and it is best to use open communication about what is going on)
- Tell your child that he/she did nothing to cause the illness (some younger children may feel the cancer is a punishment for something they have done wrong)
- Assure your child that it is okay to feel sad and to cry
- Teach positive coping to your child so he/she knows the best way to deal with feelings (talk to a parent, friend, write in a journal, take a bath, etc.)
- Keep routines as consistent as possible (this will maintain a sense of security and comfort for your child)
- Help your child understand what he/she is experiencing by reading a book together about loss/grief, drawing pictures, etc.
- Recognize that children may have some symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder after an experience with cancer (They may relive the time they were diagnosed/treated, avoid places/people that remind them of the experience or have trouble sleeping/concentrating)
- Consider the need to consult a social worker or psychologist if your child is experiencing prolonged symptoms that are inhibiting daily living
Remember, although a diagnosis of cancer for a child is a trying time for any family, there are things parents can do to be more supportive and to relieve some of the emotional stress of the situation. Most children do adapt to the situation and suffer no long-term psychological consequences.
