by Sara Bybee, LCSW
Center for Safe & Healthy Families
You might catch a glimpse of your kids playing outside, seemingly without a care in the world and wonder what could children possibly stress about? While we may think that kids only worry about what to play at recess or what after-school snack to choose, kids often feel stress just as adults do. In a poll by KidsHealth, kids stated that they were most stressed about grades, school and homework (36%), family (32%), and friends, peers, gossip and teasing (21%).
The poll also revealed important news for parents. More than 75% of the kids surveyed said they want and need their parents’ help in times of trouble. When they’re stressed, they’d like their parents to talk with them, help them solve the problem, try to cheer them up, or just spend time together.
So how can you help children cope with stress and learn healthy ways for dealing with stressful situations? Below are some ideas to get you started:
- Voice your observations: Tell kids when you notice how they might be feeling. For example, “it seems like you might feel angry about what happened.” Your observation will help your child know you’re interested in hearing more about what he/she is going through.
- Listen: Ask your children to talk to you about what’s bothering them and listen attentively and without judgment.
- Label feelings: Many kids do not know how to identify what they are feeling. Helping your child use words to identify emotions by name will help them communicate more easily and develop emotional awareness.
- Empathize with your child: Tell your child that you appreciate the stress he or she is dealing with. If he or she is working through a trauma, remind him/her that things will improve over time.
- Offer help: Let your child know that you would like to help whenever they are dealing with stress or are working through a trauma and that he/she can come to you anytime.
- Allow expression of feelings: Understand that anger or other difficult feelings may be part of a child’s reaction to stress or trauma. Try to allow your child to share how he/she is feeling while letting him/her know that abusive language and violence is not allowed
Helping children identify and cope with stress or deal with previous trauma can be extremely difficult. Try these tips for how to best support a child in his/her time of need. Some signs that you can look for to help decide if it’s time to seek professional help include: continued withdrawal from friends or family, school refusal for a long period of time, preoccupation with fear, grief or guilt to the point of not being able to think or talk about anything else, fear of leaving the house, marked decline in grades or talk about death or wanting to die. If you notice that your child seems to be getting worse instead of better over time, consider seeking out a counselor or therapist.
For more information, visit: Helping Kids Cope with Stress - Kid’s Health
